Katniss Ends It All
by dont touch my katniss
Summary: Katniss and Peeta after the rebellion. Katniss doesn't want to live on anymore. Peeta returns home to a broken Katniss. How far will Peeta go to save Katniss from her depression? Follow Katniss and Peeta as they help patch up their relationship and try to move on. Post-Mockingjay
1. Chapter 1

Katniss P.O.V

**Chapter 1: **

I wake up thrashing around and screaming at the top of my lungs. My body feels trapped in something smooth. After 5 minutes of continuous torture, I start to realize that the blanket is wrapped around my body, which explains why I felt trapped. I slowly start to decipher what is real and what isn't. I realize that it was all a nightmare. Once I recall my nightmare, I start sobbing uncontrollably.

_I'm in the woods of my first Hunger Games. I'm in search of Rue's berry bush. My senses are on high alert since I've left my bow and arrow back at my camping tree. I figured I wouldn't be gone too long. That's when I hear the howls in the distance. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as I see 4 mutts not that far away from me. I start running with all my might in the opposite direction. I hear them following me, they must have picked up my scent. I look behind me and see that they're right at my feet. I run as fast as my frail little legs can last. I spot a tree that looks accessable enough to climb. Too distracted at staring at my only hope of living, I don't see the tree root until a split second later, which was too late. I trip on the root and fall to the ground. I immediately feel a stinging pain on my ankle. I ignore it for the time being because 4 hungry looking mutts surround me and trap me. The biggest of them all slowly crawls towards me and stares at me with cold stare. I notice something peculiar about those eyes. Takes me moment to realize that those blue eyes resemble someone who I will always fear. Those eyes belong to Cato. I try to get up but find that I can't. The excruciating pain in my ankle stops me. I look down and conclude that I most likely sprained my ankle on my fall. The mutt comes close to me and opens his mouth to my neck, a deadly bite. I slowly close my eyes in an attempt to slow my beating heart. I feel the mutts breath on my neck and start screaming as loud as ever. I cry rivers and anticipate the bite. Once I feel the mutts teeth I wake up._

I slowly get out of bed and do my morning routine. Once I get into bed I see by the sun that it is about 7:00 A.M. I pray that Greasy Sae won't come and force me to eat. I know that she will tho. I don't understand why they don't just leave me alone to suffer. I deserve to suffer. I don't want to live anymore. In my life, the only emotion I feel is sorrow and pain. That is no way to live. Why don't they just understand that I want to be left alone forever?

I feel sorrow for all of those people who have died because of me. All of those people who have sacrificed their lives because of me. None of this would have happened if I hadn't pulled out those berries. None of this would have happened if I had just acted better on T.V and not spark a rebellion. None of this would have happened if I had just died in my second Hunger Games. Everything has happened because of me. Every death lost in this battle is because of me. Now i deserve to suffer for eternity.

I feel pain for all those people who have lost a loved one in the bound-to- happen-revolution. I can relate to them because I lost a loved one in this battle as well. I lost my little sister. I lost more than that tho. I lost my mother, who chooses to ignore me. I lost a best friend, whohas probably moved on already. Why cant I move on? Why is everybody able to move on, but I can't? As if something is holding me back from happiness. All I want is to be able to move on.

I know one person that isn't able to move on. That someone will never be able to move on completely. That someone is stuck in the God-damned Capitol because of me. That person loves and hates me at the same time. That person is probably the only way of me being able to move on. That specialsomeone will most likely never talk to me again.

That person is the one and only Peeta Mellark.


	2. Chapter 2

Peeta P.O.V

**CHAPTER 2: **

"I'm sorry Mr. Mellark, but you are not able to leave therapy until I conclude that you are ready."

I look at him with a look of desperation on my face. He sees my expression and sighs.

He then says, "Peeta, I know that you want to return home, but I just can't let that happen under your circumstances at the moment. You understand, don't you?".

I sigh sadly and say, "I understand Dr. Aurelius."

He nods at me and then starts to walk away. Right when he is at the doorway, he turns around and says "Hang in there Peeta, with this rapid recovery time of yours, we can have you up and out of here in no time at all." He smiles at me and then walks away.

I stand there, not believing what he just said, _"Out of here in no time at all." __**  
><strong>_I can't believe it. I'm almost out of here. I'm almost home.

I have multiple reasons why I want to return. One reason is that I'm tired of the Capitol, with their fashion styles, and of the awful memories that I have of this place. Another reason I want to go back to District 12 is because it's my home. I feel a strange attraction to just go there and walk around, even though most of the district is in rubble. But I have an even better reason to go home. My most important reason to go back home is just to see her again. My one true love. She probably hates me for all I've done to her and for what I have put her through.

President Snow has planted memories in my head after I got captured to think that Katniss is a mutt out to kill me. He made me insane. As an effect of the brainwashing I almost choked her to death.

Thankfully, while being treated here by Dr. Aurelius, him and his colleagues have figured out a solution to my "hijacking" you may call it. Unfortunately, the solution was only able to cure most of the venom, not all though. As a result, Dr. Aurelius has made me stay here and get the proper treatment until he deems me 100% safe. Something I am very grateful though is that thanks to the solution, I have gained most of my memories back, which mostly involve me and Katniss.

There really isn't anything to do here but lay around and think. That's how I realized my feelings for Katniss.

For my therapy, they show me little clips of our time together in the Games. They mostly show me our time together in the cave and most of our second Games. I noticed that I mostly look like a love stricken guy while Katniss looks like a survivor that wants nothing but survival. I remember almost everything of our time together. From our first games to the sunset on the roof of the training center.

She's the main reason I want to return home. I want to see her again. I want to hug her again. I want to be friends with her again.

I want to kiss her again.

There is only one flaw in my plan. From what I've heard she isn't doing so well at the moment. When I hear Haymitch say that he hears her screaming in the middle of the night, my heart clenches. She is still having nightmares. My heart is breaking piece by piece as I hear Haymitch list off the things that she is and isn't doing. She's not eating, she's inside all day, she's not sleeping well, she just sits and stares at a wall all day.

The only thing I can relate to her is that I still have my nightmares as well. All my nightmares are about the same torturous event. Losing her. In my nightmares, Katniss is always tortured and does a slow agonizing death. And all this time I am watching behind a clear barrier that stops me from saving her and protecting her from all the dangers life has.

I always wake up sweating through my shirt and wanting nothing more than to know that she's safe. I just want to return home and live my happily ever after. Don't I at least deserve some happiness?

So while I sit here and wonder all these things, Dr. Aurelius comes in the room holding a white envelope in his hand. He hands me the envelope and I take it with uncertainty.

I ask him, "What's this?" with a curious expression in my voice.

He laughs and says, "Read it".

I slowly open the envelope and see a letter inside of it. I take it out and slowly read it word for word. My heart skips a beat as I reread the letter multiple times.

I look up at Dr. Aurelius and he simply chuckles and says, "Mr. Mellark, you are under 24 hour surveillance and for the past 10 minutes you have been talking aloud to yourself without you knowing it. Your thinking has convinced me enough to relea-... nevermind. I'm sure the letter has explained everything. Has it?"

He looks at me, waiting for me to answer. I say back, "Yes, yes it has." This whole time I have only been thinking about one thing though.

I am going home.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry you guys! I haven't updated in a while because I didn't have internet in a while so yeah for my apology this chapter is longer than usual. Umm I know these stories suck and are short, but I don't have a laptop or computer, yup this is all mobile. So yeah, but considering my age these are A+ stories but I'll try to make these stories good. Well this is long so I'm leaving now.

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

I wake up with my nightly nightmares. This nightmare was different though, this nightmare involved Peeta.

_I wake up in a cold dark room. The room has no windows and only one door. I see that the room is bare of everything except for a matress in the far corner of the room. I slowly walk up to the matress and see that it is splattered in blood. I look away from it when I hear the long painful scream of torture. I realize that someone is is need of help at the moment. Before my brain can procress what I'm doing, I run out the room and see that I'm in a hallway with teo walkways. I hear another yell of pain coming from my right, so I run towards it and turn the corner. I'm faced with a dead end with only one door on the wall. Now that I'm closer I can hear that the yells are repetitous and can recognize the owner of the screams. Peeta. _

_ I run towards the door and open it, embracing myself for what I'm in for. I never would have expected this. Peeta is strapped in a chair, shirtless and with many multiple open wounds on his body. I gasp when I see who's behind him. Snow holding a knife to his neck. I gasp when I see that Peeta has is eyes closed, but see his chest slowly rising and falling. I run towards him when I feel a clear boundary standimg between him and I. I scream when I see that Snow is slowly moving his wrist, causing the knife to slice Peeta's neck. I cry uncontrollably when I see that Peeta has died. I fall to ground and hug my knees together. I cry and cry and then look up. I sed that Peeta hasn't moved, which have confirmed my fears. Peeta has died, and I didn't save him. I cry and cry and cry until I end up shaking and coughing with my tears. I then wake up._

I'm paralyzed to my bed as I recall my nightmare. This nightmare actually had a bigger effect on me than usual. Usually in about 10 minutes or so I've calmed down enough to breathe regularly. It's been an hour and I'm still hyperventilating.

Is it because it involved Peeta? I mean, Peeta shouldn't have this effect on me. He most likely has forgotten all about me and has moved on to another girl and is making her happy. But will I miss him? Does he miss me?

No Katniss! Stop thinking like that. Of course he doesn't miss you. Nobody does and nobody will. Even if he did miss you, you don't deserve him. You don't deserve anything after all you've done.

That gives me an idea. What if I just killed myself to end it all? Would anybody miss me? No that's for sure. Everyone must've forgotten about me and moved on. I mean nobody has called or visited me. Even if they do remember me, they probably remember a crazy woman who assasinated the president. I can live with that title, for that is who I really am.

That's when I make it official. After Greasy Sae leaves the house I will end it all. So just to put an act to it I will pretend to be better to get her to leave faster. The sooner the better right? I go shower and dry my hair. I put on some comfortable looking jeans with a loose T-shirt. I slip on my socks and shoes and head downstairs towards the smell of breakfast that churns my stomach sickingly.

Greasy Sae is standing near the stove cooking something that looks like bacon. She still hasn't seen me so I creep up to her side and say "Good Morning Sae."

She startles a little but recovers. She then looks up at me worriedly and stares at me for awhile. She probably has noticed my differnt "act". The fact that I'm in normal outgoing clothes has shocked her. She notices that she's been staring for awhile and says back "Morning Katniss."

I smile at her and go sit at the table. Thank god she didn't see through it. Why couldn't I have been this good at acting sooner, I could still have been living here with my mother and Pri... No Katniss don't think about that. Pretty soon it'll all be over. I just need to last this breakfast and I'll be fine.

Sae comes walking towards me with a plate full of eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast. I feel nauseus at the sight of it. For the past months I've been here I've only eaten small portions of food and sips of water. I still try to finish at least half of the plate though for Sae. I accomplish half and throw the rest of the food away. I wash ny plate and sit down in the couch in the living room. Sae smiles brightly at my actions and gets up to get her things. I silently congratulate myself for acting this good for so long. In reality I just want to lay down and die. When Sae comes back in the living room and opens the front door she looks back at me and says "I'm so proud of you today Katniss. Keep it up and I'll be coming here less and less." She then turns around and walks away.

I sigh in relief, she bought it. She bought my act. I can finally do what I have been deemed to do.

I go into the kitchen and grab the biggest and most sharpest knife. I walk to the living room and lock it, just in case anyone decides to interupt.

(A/N: Gets a little bit graphic here and involves cutting, but you guys should be able to handle it) I cut my wrist slowly, making sure to get the veins. Warm blood starts trickling down my arm as I start making other multiple cuts on my arm. I don't know if it's wrong that I don't feel any pain at all. I them switch to my other wrist and do the same thing as my other wrist. My hands become covered in blood as I continue cutting. I am starting to feel a little dizzy because of blood loss. I keep on going though and lift my shirt, preparing to cut my stomach when I hear it.

The shovel noises in my yard are incredibly loud for a shovel. I'm curious as ro see who it is but realize that I shouldn't check. I want to keep cutting but I'm too distracted with curiousity. I then make the decision to peek out the door to see who's poking around in my yard.

I open my front door and walk onto my porch. What I see is someone I thought I would never see again. Peeta.

He's planting some sort of plant on my side yard. I stare at the plants, remembering something of them. I stare until I feel my mind click. The plants are... primroses, which Peeta is planting on my yard. I gasp very loud at the sight.

He must have heard me gasp because he turns his head and looks me straight in the eyes, a concerned look in them. He shows signs of a smile, but them drops suddenly. His eyes go wide as he stares at something near me. He gasps a little and that's when I realize what he's staring at.

He's staring at the cuts on my arms, my bloody hands, and thr bloody knife in my hand. How could I have been so stupid? I totally forgot about the cuts and my suicide attempt. I look at Peeta when he slowly lifts his eyes to mine. I catch his eyes and see that he's about to cry.

As soon as I see him make a tiny step towards me I run back into my house and lock it. After a few seconds I hear loud knocks on my door and a Peeta's frantic voice saying "Katniss! Open the door! Please Katniss open the door! Don't do anything! Please open the door!"

I ignore his frantic pleas and see that he's stopped knocking on the door and is trying to knock it down. I see that the hinges look like they're about to break off and realize that I don't have much time untill the door breaks.

I quickly run to the middle of the living room. I lift my shirt up and am about to stab myself when I hear the door crack open. I stab myself as fast as I can and immediately see blood squirting out. I hear a loud "NO!" I see Peeta running towards me with tears in his eyes. I feel myself start to faint when I fall into a pair of arms. I look up and see that Peeta is staring at me with hurtful eyes. I hear him keep on repeating "No Katniss. Why? Why Katniss? Don't leave me. I can't live without you Katniss. I still love you." I then black out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow. I completely forgot about this account. I know this isn't the longest chapter but enjoy! Have a good day. **

**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins owns The Hunger Games trilogy and its characters. **

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><p><strong>Peeta P.O.V<strong>

I breathe in the air of my home District as I step off the train platform. I cannot believe that I'm really back. For some reason or another, the memories from District 12 don't hit me as I expected. All I can think about is _her_.

My body fills with jitters as I imagine our reunion. From what I've heard, she isn't doing too well. Not sleeping, not eating, barely living. Hell, Haymitch tells me Katniss hasn't seen the sun in weeks. I pain as I hear these things. All I want to do is grab her and comfort her. She deserves way more than me, but I'm a selfish man when it comes to her. I'm determined to win her back. I'll do whatever it takes.

I start walking towards Victor's Village when suddenly, I remember. Prim. Shit, how could I have forgotten? The sweet little girl who did nothing but bring joy to everyone around her. The poor soul who died so quickly in a bomb explosion. She did nothing to deserve such a gruesome death. All she wanted to do was help cure the world. And in return what did she get? I'm not a guy who usually roots for violence, but at this moment I wish for nothing more but to hurt Snow. He's dead, but hey, I can still wish.

Katniss must be devastated. Prim and her were best friends. They loved each other to the stars. I wouldn't blame Katniss for wanting to join her. _Slow down there Peeta..._ Katniss would never be so selfish as to want to die. She surely knows how many people look up to her. For damn sakes, she saved a whole country from destruction.

When I finally reach my home with no distractions, I feel empty. The house in front of me looks so empty. It looks.. dead. I sigh as I open my door. The smell of dust hits me full force as I stare into my abandoned home. Everything looks the same way as I left it on Reaping Day. The furniture is still there, the pictures are still hanging, the memories are still there. The fear is still there.

Somehow, I manage to walk past the living area to the kitchen. I fill with happiness as I see all my baking utensils still in place. I can't remember the last time I baked something. Wait, what happened to my parents bakery? Surely it was destroyed in the bomb raid. There goes another reason to avoid the town square.

The day passes quickly with me occasionally looking at the house across the road from mine. No movement occurs all day. Not even one light flickers on as night approaches. I ache to go there and see her. I'm tempted every time I look through the window, but I know it's too early. I just got here. I'm most likely not thinking rationally. But dammit, I want to hold her. I decide then and there to take things slow. I'd most likely scare her off if I approached her with such intensity. The last thing I'd want to do is lose her again. The Man Upstairs is giving me a second chance, and I'm not about to spoil it.

Fixing myself dinner with whatever food was still edible and putting everything away, I decide there's nothing else to do but attempt to sleep. Heading upstairs, I feel as if I'm climbing to my personal hell. I hate sleeping. Always waking up soaked through my shirt, I see the remnants of my nightmare still playing in my head. All of my nightmares include Katniss; whether it be her being tortured or to her hurting herself. Tonight most likely will be the worst night of all. Knowing that Katniss is right across the road. Not knowing if she's okay or not. I brace myself for a night of terror and close my eyes.

_ "Peeta help me! Peeta please save me! What are you doing? Stop them! Peeta please! I thought you loved me." Katniss looks at me as I see her being cornered by Peacekeepers holding deadly firearms. I see fear, pain and.. Betrayal. I come to my senses and run to her._

_ Every step I take towards her, it seems she gets further and further away. After what feels like running for hours, I'm forced to do nothing but watch. Katniss continues to cry out for me as I stand there and watch the love of my life in pain. The tears fall naturally down my face as I see blood spilling out of her. Still screaming for me to save her, I watch as a Peacekeeper takes a out a lethal-looking knife._

_ My heart skips a beat as I see him nearing Katniss. I run the hardest I ever have to her, but to no avail. Katniss' screams of agony pierce my body as she is viciously stabbed in the chest. Katniss looks at me for one last time, tears in her eyes, and mouths "Save me"._

I wake with a frightening start. I push myself up on the headboard and remove my soaked shirt. I start breathing harshly as images of the nightmare refill my mind. I get still as a statue as I vision the face my dear Katniss made when that Peacekeeper... I don't even want to think about it. Tears continue to cascade down my face as I poorly attempt to calm my body down. I know the only way I can fully regain control of my body is to know that she's safe.

After about an hour of tears, I choose to get up and be proactive. Remembering how Katniss must be after the death of her little sister, I decide to commemorate Prim with a memoir of sorts. Getting ready for the day, I dress appropriately for a trek out into the woods. Heading out the door before the sun rises, I head off towards the lake Katniss showed me once. Since I don't know where exactly primroses grow, I head off towards the one place I know.

After an hour of tripping and stumbling over branches and roots, I find a patch of wild primroses. Heading back towards Victors Village a few hours later with a wheelbarrow of primroses, I spot Greasy Sae.

"Hello there Sae. Long time no see huh?" She looks at me with startled eyes, as if not truly believing that it's me.

"Peeta? Is that you?" I nod "What are you doin' here? Come to see Katniss?" As if knowing what my plans are, she smiles with a glint in her eyes.

"Actually Sae, they released me early. Came down as fast as I could. Um actually, I am here to visit Katniss. Do you know if she's up yet?" A blush invades my cheeks as I admit as to why I'm here. I know Sae has been making sure Katniss has been eating and for that, I am eternally grateful.

"You know what? Katniss is in high spirits today. Surprised meme myself when she came down to eat. By now she's probably just staring at a wall or something, but you could visit her if you'd like. Today's a good a day as any." And with that she turns down the road and walks away.

Feeling down about Katniss most likely staring at a wall, I choose to plant the primroses first and give her space. Hunkering down to the rich soil, I grab my shovel and start digging right-sized holes. After five minutes of digging, I hear the front door open. I hold my breath as I turn my head towards the front steps.

I see her. No words can describe the beauty standing before me, her body being outlined with the morning sunlight. A smile slowly etches onto my face as I bask in the moment. I've been waiting for this confrontation for months now. That's when I see it.

Crimson red blood slowly trickles down the length of her arms. Angry, red slashes on her wrist are prominent against the pearly tone of her skin. My throat swells up as I put the the pieces together. My nightmares are coming true. Katniss was trying to kill herself. My one true love wants to die. _No! This isn't happening. _I take a step towards her, as if not to startle her. As soon as she sees this, she turns and runs into the house.

I run up the steps and turn the door knob rapidly. It's locked. I can't let her do this! It would destroy me! It would soon.. kill me. I shout and plead for her to stop but get silence in reply. My thoughts take a dark turn as I imagine what she could be doing in there. Giving up my futile attempts to unlock the door, I start breaking down the door. Ramming my shoulder against the door, the wood starts splintering. My heart clenches as I hear Katniss' sobs through the door. With a last burst of determination, I break down the door and run into the house.

My world seems to be frozen in that one moment. Katniss stabbed the knife into her stomach. _No. No no no no!_ My eyes water as I catch her before she falls. I cradle her head onto my lap and stroke her hair. Sobs wrack my body as this might be our last encounter together. I exclaim my love for her, hoping and praying that this won't be the last time I speak to her. If she dies, I die. There is no way in hell that I'm living in a world without her. Absolutely not. Her eyes widen in surprise, tears welling up in them. They then close and my heart stops. Never in a million years would I imagine myself in this position. Holding the love of my life as she slowly dies in my arms. I pick her up and run the hardest I ever have to the District's makeshift hospital.

_ Please be okay. Please._


End file.
